Sunshine

O barulho da chuva na janela me faz lembrar do tempo lá fora... aqui dentro no meu quarto há um sol que nasceu e que me deixa extasiada e eufórica. Pouco a pouco as correntes que me prendiam vão sendo destravadas e, apesar de receosa, quero estar livre. Sunshine...

sleepless

Acordei no meio da noite... 4 horas e  eu aqui sem sono... às vezes a insônia se instala e rolar de um lado para o outro não adianta... então pensei em fazer uma visitinha. Faz tempo, hein? Muito ocupada, bla bla bla... o fato é, sem inspiração.
Mas acontecimentos recentes me causam inquietude... voltar a sentir, voltar a prestar atenção em músicas... voltar a querer. Com meia idade e cheia de dúvidas... será que devo...? E se...?
Às vezes mais é menos... e muito é demais... qual o meio termo? Por que precisa haver subterfúgios? O que eu quero?
Quero ser eu mesma... quero poder tocar sem culpa, chorar sem medo, sentir sem limites... será que dá?

thanks

I know it may sound corny but I want to say thanks to the universe... having been born under this person, having had these chances I´ve had in this life is a blessing. And I feel blessed, for my life, for my child´s life, for my family, friends, for finding some sense in this senseless world. Sometimes I almost lose my faith, but then something amazing happens and I cling to it... So thanks... to whomever may be listening...

runing from myself

How can I feel like a stranger inside my own body? There are times I can´t recognize myself, and all that means being me... and feel like running, fleeing away from myself... there are so many things I want to change, but don´t know how...when will comtemp take place? When will I be enough for myself? ... sigh...

Tired of myself

Sometimes I get tired of myself... and wish I could wear another face, another body, another me... I get on my nerves... some people say acknowledging your flaws is the beginning of healing... but when will it heal? .... sigh...

Clueless effects

Got in touch with an old friend of mine, who used to be my student... while catching up he suddenly revealed: "You were my best teacher ever". I was dumbfounded... after all, he´s had so many teachers, from school, to high school, to university, Yázigi teachers, post graduation.... why me? Finally I got the guts and asked, after all, why the heck me? You know what he answered?: because you were funny and tender... and that really got me thinking... how do we evaluate the people that go through our lives? What people do we remember the most?
Tenderness is an underrated thing... seems like people are afraid of showing emotions, so the pretend they don´t care... big mistake!

the blues

Walking on the beach made me start thinking about the way things are... and I missed myself, my old me. Not the looks, not the great hair and firm body... I missed my naiveness and optimism in life. It´s no good dwelling on the past, because the present usually doesn´t win. Started recollecting people, moments, feelings... and that made me cry, for the the impossibility of experiencing them again... the blues.

Here I am

I was wondering why people have blogs... is it because they have something to say and noone listens to them? Is it because they´re narcisistic and want people to see how great they are? Is it because it´s the up-to-date way of having a journal?
Anyways, here´s mine... still wondering why.... but alive and kicking!